Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Good morning Allyson.

I woke up this morning with a very small foot in my face. I slowly opened my eyes and adjusted them to see that it belonged to my daughter. She had one foot on either side of my head and she was brushing my hair with a small pink princess hairbrush. I quickly realized that this was the reason I was awoken. It hurt. My hair was in tangles and the brush was becoming more and more tangled the more she tried to pull it through my hair. I reached up to undo the knots and was told "No mommy. I am making you pretty." I wanted to stop her. I wanted to tell her to leave my room until I could get up and get dressed. What I really wanted was another hour or so of sleep. But instead I strained to look into her beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes match mine. She has my nose too. Everyone thinks she looks like her Dad but I know better. I have seen her baby pictures compared to mine and I know that she will look just like me the older she gets. I never correct people when they tell me she looks like her dad. They can believe what they want. I take joy in knowing that she is a mini-me. It is like a little secret between us. How can anyone tell her no when she is having so much fun. Instead of doing what I really wanted to do I moved into a position to make it easier for her to brush down my long hair. When she was done I thanked her. She looked at her completed work and said, "Mommy I can't make you pretty. You need a shower!" I smiled. No matter how hard this day was going to be, her father is gone and will not be back until early tomorrow morning and I will have to take care of both kids myself, I know that the way I was woke up would help me keep a smile all day.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The most powerful kind of love.

These children of mine have completely changed me. They have taken my life and turned it inside out. I was a beautiful, carefree, fun-loving girl. I had dreams, desires, and goals. Nothing is the same anymore. My beautiful, thin body has been replaced with a much older less tighter looking model. The carefree, fun-loving girl has turned into a responsible, cautious woman. Where I once had dreams of traveling the world, I now dream of being able to go to the beach more than once a year. Where I once had a desire to be with my first true love and live my life as Barbie and Ken forever, I now desire nothing more than a good nights sleep and a great cup of coffee every morning. Where my goals once concisted of keeping at least $150.00 in my checking account, I now have goals that consist of my children having college funds. I used to spend my time planning shopping trips with friends and picking out which parties I wanted to attend. Now I spend my time worrying about where my babies are and if they need or want anything. I only ever had to worry about me and what I wanted. Now I worry about them always. I put myself second to every one of their needs.
I know this sounds terrible and those of you who are not parents are probably wondering why anyone would be crazy enough to want this life. Why would anyone want to give up all that for this? I bet that those of you who are not parents are really feeling sorry for me right now.
Well don't. I would not change this if I could. I would never give up what I have now for what I had then for anything in the world. My babies have taken me and changed me into a better person.
I thought I would teach them so much. How was I to know that they would be the ones teachign me? They hold my heart in their sweet, little palms. They can make my whole day better just by smiling at me. They are able to infuriate me more than anyone else but they also make me laugh, cry, and think. More than anything else, they make me love. My god the love is so strong. No one could ever make me stop loving them. It is unconditional. Truly unconditional. They don't know all my faults and maybe they never will but they see me through the pure eyes of a child. Their open eyes hold wonders unlike any other. And now, thanks to my babies, my eyes are open too.

Bewitching Snow

Bewitching Snow
It's crazy how bewitching it is tonight
Everything's frosted and still
The whole world is holding its breath
As we crunch through the softness
Hand in hand.
The purple-grey sky is a blanket
and the world sleeps underneath
with sugar-plum branches
and sugar-snow icing
that frosts everything
magical.
The powdered ice-sugarsifts down
catching my eyelashes as I look up
the air turns your breath to frost as you lean in
and your hand is warm in mine.
It's crazy how bewitching you are tonight
As we lay here so close and so still
I feel your touch and I'm holding my breath
As we look to the future
Hand in hand.
Tangled here in this blanket
wrapped tight in your arms underneath.
The touch of your skin
the scent of your breath
suddenly everything'smagical.
Your soft lipsgraze mine
catching my eyelashes as I look down
the night dances with our breath as we lean in
and your heart is warm next to mine.

Time is short.

I am still young. I have time left in my life but it is not as much as most would like to believe. I have learned in my short life that you cannot take things for granted. I have 2 beautiful children who have become the only important beings in my life. They grow so fast and I am just starting to understand the importance of slowing down to take pleasure in the little things they do everyday. I found this on-line and I have no idea who wrote it but I love it and for that resign I am going to share it with you.

Have you ever watched kids on a merry go round?
Or listened to rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down. Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.The music wont last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?" do you hear the reply?
When the day is done do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores running through your head.
You better slow down.Don't dance too fast.
Time is short.The music wont last.
Ever told your child "we'll do it tomorrow."
and in your haste, not seen his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,let a good friendship die.
Cause you never had time to call and say "Hi".
You better slow down.Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.The music wont last.
When you run so fast getting somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it's like an unopened gift......Thrown Away!
Life is not a race.Do take it slower.
Hear the music......before the song is over.