Today

Today Joe got me a new wedding band. The most beautiful thing I ever saw.

Today Joe bought me new luggage for the trip I am going on in 10 days.

Today Joe took me out to breakfast.

Today James told me I am the best mom in the world.

Today Allyson colored a picture and stayed in all the lines, then she told me that she did it for me!

Today my husband smiled at me and told me I was glowing.

Today so many wonderful things happened but the most important thing that happened was that I fell more in love with my family. Every time I think it is impossible to love them more, they prove me wrong. It is not because he spoils me, but because he loves doing it. It is not because they are special, but because they are mine. My husband loves me with his whole heart. I love him with mine. My children give me a reason to wake up every morning. I love watching them grow up. How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve this amazing life.

In 10 days I am going to Cancun, Mexico with a very good friend of mine. My husband is paying for me to leave the country without him or the kids. He is letting me take a vacation when he is the one who has been doing all the work.

In 10 days my mom is taking my children so I can take this trip. She is watching them and my overly hyper dog so I can take a vacation that I do not deserve. If anyone needs a vacation it is her.

All day I have felt spoiled, loved, and happy. But all day I have also felt guilty. How can I give back to them? How can I repay my family for the love that they show me in everything they do? How can I possibly ever repay my husband for being faithful, caring, supporting, and generous? How can I repay my children for all the smiles they bring to me? No matter what I do, they will always be better people than I am. But for as long as I live, I will do everything in my power to make them feel safe, loved, and cherished.

Nam-mom

My grandmother was taken to the hospital a couple of days ago. She was not conscious and she had a seizure. My whole family started to gather to say their goodbyes because no one thought she could pull through. Somehow she did pull through. She made it but I don't know how much longer she has. The sad part is that she has dementia. When she went to the hospital the other day, she could not remember who she was or anyone else. It is getting worse for her and I hope when she does leave this world, she does not go scared and alone in her mind.

I was driving Allyson home from school yesterday when she asked me who it was that was sick that I went to visit. I told her my nammom. She thought about it for a minute and then asked "Is she ready to die now?" I told her I did not think so. I realized that my 4 year old has it all figured out. My nammom wont leave until she is good and ready. She is a strong woman and she loves her family. When she is done she will be ready and she will leave peacefully. Even if she does not know the people in the room with her, I am sure that she will feel the love and remember that someone out there will miss her and love her forever.

Good Bye Friend

It has been a long time since I have writen about life. Today I lost my best friend. No not literally, but she might as well be lost. She moved 6 and 1/2 hours away. I am happy for her because I know she needs a fresh start, we all do sometimes, but I am really going to miss her. My kids will miss her and her kids. The neighborhood wont be the same without her. So to Roslyn, You have been an awesome friend. We have shared just about everything from tears, to coffee, to a motel room! LOL You sneezed in my face! haha I will really miss having your shoulder to cry on, your understanding nature to lean on, and all the great times we just acted a fool and had fun. Thanks for making the last few months in VA tolerable. I will think about you everytime I pour a cup of coffee or stand up to bat. Good luck in your life my friend, I wish you and your family all the best in life.